Christmas Chaos & Grace [part 2]

{hey all, Lize here. - This is Buff's post, but I had to give a little intro. Yes, Christmas was 5 days ago...we warned you, we're not Type A people. But the thing is, Christmas was just the start of the story. So my hope is these words will still bring some truth and light and encouragement to your hearts. They sure did mine. As she mentions. "Christmas IS a mess..." and as the post-Christmas mess plays out in my life, these words warmed my heart. Enjoy!}

This picture is exactly how Christmas feels this year. We found out yesterday that the humidifier attached to our central heating accidentally got turned off some time since we used it last winter. This explained a lot - why we've been battling miserable sore throats, why my hair has had no hope, and why our Christmas tree died suddenly two weeks after we chopped it down in the freezing winter rain at a tree farm built on the side of a giant hill.

So, on Christmas Eve, with my shop vac in hand, I settled into vacuuming the mess of fallen needles out from under the tree to try to salvage the image in my mind of what Christmas should look like. I keep thinking to myself, "This just fits. The last few months have looked just like this.. Fighting a losing battle of cleaning up messes that just keep coming. Of course Christmas would look just the same." And on I went... Grumble, grumble, grumble. I finally get the tree to an acceptable level of dead and two seconds later I hear noises coming from Jacob's bedroom as he wakes from his nap.

We settle into playing in the living room and somehow Jacob found one of the television remotes and pushes a few buttons. A familiar song starts playing and I look up from the pile of clothes and toys I'm sorting to put away as he somehow turns on "A Charlie Brown Christmas." My busy baby boy crawls up into my lap as the cartoon starts playing and we sat together to watch as Charlie Brown starts airing his Christmas blues. Admittedly, I got a little teary as I agreed with Linus. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, surely I too must be the Charlie Brown-iest this year.

It's been a long year and, although I've been seeing glimpses of Grace as I mentioned in my last post, Christmas Eve just doesn't feel the same as it usually does. I kept telling myself that Christmas is wonderful and that I'm just a little off my normal holiday game when, in reality, God's just answering my prayers. I've been asking God lately to show me my need for Him so I can understand more about my dependence on Him since my faith has felt as lively as our Christmas tree. He's begun to revive my soul through moments of clarity and refreshing my heart with His word. But, I can't give off the impression that life has been perfectly shiny since then. I'm still tired and I'm still learning.

So, God's sitting me down in my mess and showing me that that's where Grace begins. Even when I'm overwhelmed by my messy circumstances, I'm reminded that that's where God chose to enter the world - as a baby lying in a feeding trough in the middle of a barn.

The story of Christmas IS a mess. Everything about the birth of Christ was a disaster! The government, Joseph and Mary's engagement, their journey to Bethlehem, Mary's childbirth in a barn, of all places.. All of it was a mess. The only thing that turns their situation into anything worth celebrating is the silver thread of salvation that follows the design of the whole story. God worked all the messy details together to set the scene for His son to enter on our level. Humans are the definition of messy but that doesn't hold God back. He'll meet us right here in the disorder and dirt of our lives and pull on that silver thread to show us the pattern of grace woven into our story.

So, instead of chasing after the shiny, gift-wrapped image of Christmas I've built up in my m

ind as the ideal, I think I'll sit here a little longer and soak up the truth of the Scripture Linus recites on that stage - the story of when God met man's mess and took it on Himself to bring order and forgiveness into the picture.

Love, Bethany

P.S. Merry Christmas, my friend. Thanks for being a part of my messy life. I'm so so grateful for you.